What ALL Single, Christian Ladies Need to Know About Dating and Waiting
Instead I dated a lot in my 20’s and early 30’s. In fact, my sisters will sometimes say, “Remember that guy you went out with? He did blah, blah, blah?” Half the time I can’t remember, and I swear they are getting me confused with one of their friends, but deep down I know they are not. Sisters never forget anything, especially your bad dates!
Looking back on my waiting for a husband, I wouldn’t change anything even though I went through phases of loneliness, disappointment, and feelings of failure. Why can’t I find a guy? What is wrong with me? Why is every guy I meet the wrong one?
I had a lot of “ME” pity parties on the phone with my mom, and many tears after every break-up. But sometimes you can’t see clearly until the smoke clears and the dust settles. I can honestly say, that what I was looking and hoping for, God was planning on giving to me. He just had a different way of doing it. During that time of waiting he worked on my heart, encountered me, transformed me, and made me into the wife and mother that I am today. I can honestly say it was never about me finding the right guy, but about me becoming the woman I was created to be, as well as God working on my heart. I think our hearts are the number one thing that God is concerned with when it comes to our personal relationship with him.
That’s what I write about in my newest book, Conversations with Rumbi. Three years ago, I had an excellent student worker, Rumbi Mudzonga, now Rumbi Sizemore. We had so much in common and we talked a lot about boys, dating, waiting, and everything in between. I found that she was so much like me when I was single. I shared with her all that she wanted to know, and maybe more than what she asked for, but I’d been where she was and I had compassion.
I know what it’s like to be single and go through yet another Mother’s Day where there is no one to call you “Mom,” and no man to call you “Honey.” I know what it’s like to be in the church and totally confused about how to have a real Christian relationship. What is that? You don’t hear sermons about dating unless you are 15 and in youth group. What about single people in their 30’s? What does purity look like in a relationship? Why doesn’t God just bring me my man? How much do I have to delight myself in the Lord until he gives me the desire of my heart? Doesn’t God know my biological clock is ticking? What is he thinking?
These are all really valid and transparent questions. Unfortunately, you will not get answers from the pulpit. You won’t get invited to the marriage retreat without a husband, and you won’t get asked to stand on Mother’s Day either. Single people in their late 20’s and 30’s have been forgotten in the church. I don’t think the church does it on purpose. I think they just don’t know where these folks fit, and they don’t understand the struggles. I’m telling you I’ve been there, and that’s why I wrote this book.
In Conversations With Rumbi, I share my learning process of dating and waiting, along with examples of what a real Christian relationship looks like, encouragement for purity, and faith for encounters with the one (God) who will love you perfectly. In addition, I share all of Rumbi’s questions and my answers.
I wrote this book two years ago, but I’ve held back on releasing it, mainly because it’s so personal. I mean, you get to read about my messy life, my shallowness, pride, stupidity, as well as the beauty of transformation, the love of God, and the fairytale ending. I’m putting it all out there, very tactfully I might add, because I know there is power in transparency and vulnerability. My hope is that this will encourage the single Christian lady who is dreaming about a diamond sparkly and a relationship with a partner built on trust and faith. He is out there! I know. I find mine, and God can do the same for you!
You can purchase the book here. Don’t forget to give me a review on Amazon. I would really appreciate it!